How many roles do you have? Are you the Uber Driver? Chef? Personal Assistant? Caregiver for kids? Shopper? Housekeeper? Chief Financial Officer? Emotional support? Cheerleader? Psychologist? Landscaper? Caregiver for parents? Confidante? Wait, now insert your career title ____________!
Like many women, we tend to have numerous responsibilities that we juggle and do the best that we possibly can. We are always there and available no matter how busy or how late it is. This trait is what makes women so powerful and reliable!
I recall a male friend stating to me that I did not have time to take care of a dear friend in his last few months of life and that it was also not my responsibility. I understood that he was trying to protect/caution me, but I could not relate to his perspective. To me, if I am not there for those moments then why am I here at all. This conversation opened my mind to the fact that women get the job done no matter what the cost because we are NURTURERS.
BUT who nurtures the nurturer?
Who is making sure that you are getting the time, attention and emotional support that you need and deserve? That is the challenge to you is for you to be present and available you need to ensure that you are being nourished and recharged. That sounds selfish, doesn’t it? It is time to turn that mind thought around and truly take care of self so that you can be at your best.
So what can you do?
First, ask the question, “At times do you feel overwhelmed?” It’s OK to have needs; I know I do. Next, decide who in your immediate world you can reach out to for nurturing. In some cases, there may be no obvious choice to fill this role for you. That’s OK, too. There is still you, and you have a commanding position. You can allocate some of the time you are using to nurture others and reserve it for yourself. IT IS CRITICAL for success!
Set aside some you-time for an exercise or yoga class or a nature walk or for reading a book. Maybe it is eating lunch with a friend. Perhaps you do two 15-minute meditations by yourself. Or take a long warm bath with magnesium bath salts. Get a good night’s sleep! My favorite thing to do is to sing out loud like a rock star!
Or maybe it’s going to a spa and finding a few minutes of calm with a massage or facial that is indeed about you. On a daily basis, I see women coming in pre-occupied or unhappy and leaving with a peaceful smile. That is one of the real benefits of my career!
What you do isn’t the goal. It’s taking time to restore yourself and your “self,” to focus on you and not on your entire world. Remember even the nurturer needs nurturing.